Saw this on a subsidiary site of Huffington Post: “Sushi for Your Sign” and had this sudden urge to find fault with its zodiacal advice and flame it with a comment or two.  I don’t do this too often, but when I see something that has so much wrong in it, I’d rather say something than nothing.  Don’t worry, I’m not trashing the entire article, just 7-8 comments that did not sit well with me.

Check the article at the link above — those of you with the same sushi experience as me or more might have more to say, and if you do, please leave a comment.

Aries
Sure, just fire up that tuna hand roll with a double order of wasabi – that’s really complimenting the chef’s training and skill.  While you’re at it, why not dump a spoonful of sour cream on top and then you’d get the most expensive seafood taco in town.

Taurus
I’m sorry, but minced beef on rice = art? (seriously…) Show me a hamburger nigiri that didn’t look like a steaming you-know-what planted on a rice ball.

Gemini
Sushi eating is not all about variety, and as most sushi enthusiasts like me will add, order is also important. Standard sushi eating custom suggests you start from the weak-tasting sushi first and work your way up gradually to the stronger sweeter tasting sushi (there are many varieties and combinations). Or don’t, and remain an uncultured Gemini.

Cancer
A raw uzura (quail) egg on a sea urchin gunkanmaki is actually pretty good, but I don’t think it qualifies as a sushi equivalent to caviar – for one thing, they’re bird eggs.  Flying Fish roe (tobiko) or Pollock roe (tarako) are probably the closest IMO. Or better yet, mentaiko – spicy tarako famous in Hakata, Japan – spread on a rice cracker will probably give you the Japanese match (in both price and substance) to your standard caviar on a Ritz.

Leo
Okay, so Leos will approach the eating of sushi as one might on an episode of Jackass – a Taco bell crisp taco (again) with “fire” hot sauce will give you the same rush, and cost a helluva lot less.  Are Leos supposed to be splurging masochists too?

Virgo
Picky sushi eaters need to know what they’re putting in their mouths, all the way down to what species of fish they’re being served.  Relevant because long-lived fish like tuna – the primary ingredient of tekka rolls – are prone to absorbing mercury throughout their lives by eating mercury contaminated prey.

Libra
Sharing is good.

Scorpio
Worth mentioning that unagi and anago served at the head of your meal is like saying to your sushi chef, “I’m in a rush to eat and leave” – shame on you.